Mixed signals
Question
I am a Muslim female and I met a Muslim brother who I am inclined to marry. I did not see him for a couple of months and asked Allah to give me a sign as to who will be my husband and I saw him two days later. However after this, I did not see him for many more months and begin praying Istikhara for 7 consecutive nights. I am still very confused and do not know if he is meant for me. What should I do? Also, I am very shy and cannot approach my elders.
Answer
Nikah is a very great Ibaadat in Islam. Besides, it is a Sunnat of many Ambiyaa (Alayhimus salaam) and the Sunnat of our beloved Prophet (Sallallaahu Alayhi Wasallam).
The prescriptions for a prosperous and successful marriage are found clearly in the Ahaadith of Rasulullah (Sallallaahu Alayhi Wasallam). The most important things after Imaan are Taqwa (fear of Allah), adherence to the Sunnat and Akhlaaq-e-Hasana). If at least these three qualities are found in the person and you are satisfied, then make Mashwara with the seniors in your family. There is no need to be shy, because this concerns your future. Approach them and take their opinions as well.
In Mashwara, there is always the help of Allah Ta'ala. It would be better for you to take up your matter with them, than to stay quite and involve yourself in the Zina (fornication of the heart and mind) and incur sin upon yourself. Don't delay in the matter. If you come to some agreement to propose to him, then ask the seniors in the family to make the approach for you. We cannot tell you whether he is meant for you or not. This rests totally in the knowledge of Allah Ta'ala.
Your greatest help is Du'aa and Salaat. Make Du'aa to Allah Ta'ala to grant you a pious and tolerant husband. Remember, whatever is destined for you, will come to you. Don't be despondent. Have hopes in the mercy of Allah Ta' ala. I do not understand what you have meant by, 'I met a Muslim brother', if you have some relationship with him, terminate it immediately. This could take away the Barkat (blessing) from your marriage. Besides, it is totally prohibited in Islam. And keep your heart open to Allah Ta'ala. Don't presettle this though in your mind that you are going to be married to this person. Rather, tell Allah Ta'ala that you will be content with whatever he decides. He Knows what's good for you and what's not.
May Allah Ta'ala mak it easy for you.
and Allah Ta'ala Knows Best
Mufti Ebrahim Desai
FATWA DEPT.
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- Mufti Ebrahim Desai
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