Raising young daughter in the West

Question

I belong to a fairly moderate income group. Recently my eldestdaughter attained the age of puberty. This development has placed me in agreat predicament. I was quite affected recently by a lecture I heard on thesins of intermingling of sexes. My daughter attends a public school whereshe is obviously involved in this. While it might appear to be easy to justremove her from school, I have to also consider her future. She definitelyrequires a career in order to make her financially self-sufficient in thesetimes of great economic strife. What should I do under these circumstances?

Mufti Ebrahim Desai · Accepted Answer

Almighty Allah Taála says in the Holy Qurãn 'And (women) stay in your homes and don't display yourselves like the practice of the first Jaahiliyya (pre-Islamic era)'. (Qurãn 33:33)

Rasulullah (Sallallaahu Alayhi Wasallam) said, 'A woman is an object of concealment. When she comes out; the Shaitaan accompanies her'. (Mishkãt)

The above quotations clearly indicate that the place of a woman is at home. When she emerges out of the house, she becomes the tool of the Shaitaan to spread mischief and corruption. In these modern times, there is a worldwide campaign on recognition of women's rights, according to the democratic ideology which includes equality between men and women in earning, rank and position. Such a position for women in society breathes corruption and mischief. And the ghastly consequences such a position has already caused are clear as day-light for all those of true intelligence.

The harms of giving your daughter 'secular education' under the existing conditions is greater than the benefits. It is not permissible to risk the honour of your daughter at the expense of securing her economic future. Looking at the dangers and harms in schools, even the greatest worldly need cannot justify the reason for sending your daughter to school.

The sustenance of every individual is the responsibility of Allãh: 'There is not a single creature on earth except that Allãh Taála has taken the responsibility of its sustenance'. (Qurãn 11:6)

The Fuqahaa have explained that firstly the father has to support his daughter until marriage. Upon marriage, the husband has to support her. If the husband dies or divorces her, and she has elderly working sons, it is their responsibility to support her. If she does not have sons, then the father will have to support her again. If he is not in a position to support her then, her brothers and relatives should support her. Islam has laid down principles to support a woman in every turn of her life. If any of the above does not materialize, she can even support herself by maintaining her honour and dignity by doing something from indoors. She may do cooking, sewing, baking, etc. and sell. There are many avenues of income. The secular form of education is not the only way of earning an income. How many secular graduates are penniless due to unemployment and how many secularly uneducated women have regular income through private services?

Your concern should be to give your daughter good Islamic education, teach her to be a loyal wife and responsible mother. Teach her the life of simplicity and you may teach her some profession like sewing, etc. could help her during a financial crisis.

And Allah Knows Best.

Mufti Ebrahim Desai

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