AskImamDarul Iftaa Mahmudiyyah (AskImam)

How do I ask forgiveness from my wife for being impotent?

Fatwa 41384English
Psychological and Social

Question

Assalamualaikum

I got recently married ... Before marriage I used to watch porn and masturbate a lot... Hence I didn't even realise that masturbation to computer actually made me impotent... At times I thought my erections became weak but I used to think ... Once I marry it will gain strength.. Hence I proceeded with marriage .. But after marriage I realised that am impotent... Now in order to repent to Allah . Shall I tell my wife I became impotent bcoz of porn...

When I consulted doctors they asked me whether I experienced morning erections or not....

I said no....

I don't know how to ask forgiveness from wife shall I mention my past or simply leave her and give her gifts etc

Answer

In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.

As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh.

May Allah Ta’ala alleviate your difficulties and grant you shifaa.

Seek medical help to cure your impotency. There is no need to tell your wife about your past.[1] Inform her that you are seeking medical treatment and request her to be patient and make du’a for you.

And Allah Ta’āla Knows Best

Aboobakr Siddeeq bin Mufti Amjad Mohammad

Student Darul Iftaa

Azaadville, JHB, South Africa

Checked and Approved by,
Mufti Ebrahim Desai.

References (Arabic / Urdu sources)

[1] صحيح البخاري – ٦٠٦٩

عَنْ سَالِمِ بْنِ عَبْدِ اللَّهِ، قَالَ سَمِعْتُ أَبَا هُرَيْرَةَ، يَقُولُ سَمِعْتُ رَسُولَ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم يَقُولُ ‏ "‏ كُلُّ أُمَّتِي مُعَافًى إِلاَّ الْمُجَاهِرِينَ، وَإِنَّ مِنَ الْمَجَانَةِ أَنْ يَعْمَلَ الرَّجُلُ بِاللَّيْلِ عَمَلاً، ثُمَّ يُصْبِحَ وَقَدْ سَتَرَهُ اللَّهُ، فَيَقُولَ يَا فُلاَنُ عَمِلْتُ الْبَارِحَةَ كَذَا وَكَذَا، وَقَدْ بَاتَ يَسْتُرُهُ رَبُّهُ وَيُصْبِحُ يَكْشِفُ سِتْرَ اللَّهِ عَنْهُ ‏"‏‏

Answered by
Aboobakr Siddeeq bin Mufti Amjad Mohammad
Checked & approved by
Mufti Ebrahim Desai
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