What if the wife wishes to stay with her mum now and then?

Question

As-salaaamu-alaikum, I am about to enter nikkah shortly. A question was raised between us that at times she may want to stay with her mum. Am I obliged to stay over as well? Is it wrong for me to make her stay with her mum infrequent. What are her duties and responsibilities as a wife towards my parents and family? Please explain as fully as possible as we would like to gain closure on this. Jazakallah

Mufti Ebrahim Desai · Accepted Answer

Marriage is all about love, understanding and mutual co-operation between the spouses. The greater the love, the more the facilitating nature of the spouses manifests itself. The husband and wife must make adjustments and rise above their emotions and go beyond strict principals to maintain that love and harmony. Adherence to strict principles in such an intimate and close relationship may not be practical. In view of the above, the husband should facilitate his wife's requests to permit her to stay with her parents. He should offer to stay with her there. That is conducive to maintaining a good relationship with ones in-laws. It is not an obligation. Similarly the wife has no Shari obligations to her in-laws. She does not have to serve them. However, she should do so as a good gesture and magnanimity from her side. That attitude displays humility and humbleness. The husband will be pleased by his wife serving his parents and so to will the wife be pleased by her husband serving and being good to her parents.

In brief, it is mutual understanding and co-operation between the spouse to serve and service one another's feelings.

and Allah Ta'ala Knows Best

Mufti Ebrahim Desai
FATWA DEPT.

In brief, it is mutual understanding and co-operation between the spouse to serve and service one another's feelings.

and Allah Ta'ala Knows Best

Mufti Ebrahim Desai
FATWA DEPT.

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