Istikharah result is positive but the girl is not ready - What should we do?

Question

السلام عليكم ورحمة الله وبركاته

Mufti sab some one had done istikhara for marriage and the mother also did istikhara on his behalf

Both of the istikharas had a positive response

But once the talk was put in front of the girls family they replied that the girl is not ready at the moment

Istikhara is basically another name for making a mashwara with Allah Ta'ala and there is a go ahead from Allah Ta'ala

So what should the boys family do?

Should they move on to look for another girl

Or what should be done?

Kindly advise.

Jazakallah.

Bilal Yusuf Pandor · Accepted Answer

In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.

As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh.

A correct Istikharah is one that is performed with a balanced frame of thought and one’s mind is not already inclined towards a particular decision. Sometimes, because of one’s mindset prior to the Istikharah, the outcome is a reflection of one’s desires instead of divine guidance.

Nevertheless, you question why Almighty Allah provided a positive sign to you whereas the other family is not willing to get their daughter married. The simple answer is that it is for divine reasons beyond our feeble comprehension. We are taught to accept every decision of Almighty Allah as there is a hidden wisdom behind every decision of Almighty Allah. Often, we do not see the benefit immediately, however, after some time our eyes are opened to the truth and reality of it.

If one adopts a situation based on Istikharah, that does not mean they will not face challenges. Almighty Allah is Al-Aleem (The All-Knowing) and Al-Hakeem (The All-Wise). He knows the wisdom of your present situation and why you have been guided to it. The purpose of Istikharah was so that Almighty Allah could guide you to that which is best for you. Whether the outcome is positive or negative, there will always be goodness in it. Whoever has made Istikharah will never suffer a loss.

Our advice is that you continue making Istikharah. Furthermore, you should make Mashwarah with the senior members of your family as well as those of the girl’s family. It is possible they may reconsider if you were to put forward your case once more.

Most important of all, do not despair. Almighty Allah has decreed a partner for you. What has been decreed will surely come to pass. Keep making Istikharah and place your trust in Almighty Allah.

And Allah Ta’āla Knows Best

Bilal Yusuf Pandor

Student Darul Iftaa

Lusaka, Zambia

Checked and Approved by,
Mufti Ebrahim Desai

(2020-08-24)

Question

Answer