There is a girl that i really want to get married to and she to me. her parents does not like me and in the begining i was judged on my looks

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1)There is a girl that i really want to get married too and she to me. her parents does not like me and in the begining i was judged on my looks. There was a time in my life that i use to smoke marijuana. Her parents found out about this, i did howeverstop before i met her Algamdoelillah. I made Toba and took an oath that i would never do it again in all sincerity. Up till today Algamdoelillah i havent done it. I took test to prove it to her parents and still they dont want to give in. Both of us made Istigharah and fell strongly about getting married. She told her parents that her outcome was possitive and they still dont want to give in. According to her family, her parents are very racist and i strongly believe that this is the real reason or them not giving in. Both of us are shaafie, will our nikah be valid if we get married wthout concent of the parents. There reasoning is wrong and it was proven that its because "i am not good looking enough for there daughter" 2)i had a dream in which i repeatidly recited only the first line on Tabarak, could you interpret it.

Shaykh Taha Karaan · Accepted Answer

In the Shafi'i madhhab, when a sane virgin female who has reached puberty requests her waliyy (in this case her father) to marry her to a man who is socially compatible with her in terms of (a) piety and (b) profession, (out of five factors that determine compatibility, these are the only two which are applicable), her waliyy is under obligation to proceed with the marriage and he may not refuse.

If he does refuse, the matter needs to be referred to a judicial authority (in our case, the regional 'ulama bodies). The father will be asked his reason for refusal, and if they are found to be valid, his refusal will be upheld. On the other hand, if they are found to be baseless, the judicial authority will inform the father thereof, and will instruct him to proceed with the marriage. Should he still refuse, he will become guilty of the sin of 'adl (unreasonable refusal) and will lose his wilayah (authority to allow and perform the marriage). The judicial authority is then entitled to perform the marriage against the will of the father.

The fact that the questioner used to smoke marijuana once upon a time cannot be used to prove his incompatibility with her if it is true that he has

given up that sin and has repented from it a considerable time ago. If he has only recently given it up, he needs to prove over a considerable period of time (like 6 months) that he has completely abandoned it. The issue of his appearance may not be invoked as grounds for refusal. However, the father will have to state his reasons for withholding his consent himself.

Their nikah will not be valid if her father is not involved in the proceedings in the manner described above.

and Allah Ta'ala Knows Best

Shaykh Taha Karaan
DARUL ULOOM AL-ARABIYYA AL-ISLAAMIYYAH
Western Cape, SA

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