My friend has been involved with a boy for the last couple of years...Her parents were furious when they found out that she went out with him, and they lost their trust in her

Jazakallah for submitting your question about your friend to the institute.

It is indeed unfortunate that your friend is persisting in disobeying and deceiving her parents. Not only is she incurring Allah Ta'ala's wrath for disobeying His commandment of abstaining from intermigling with a ghair man, she is also incurring His wrath for openly defying her parents and for going near/into zinnah.

Even though her father is against her present behaviour, she is causing him harm as he is her guardian and thus accountable to Allah Ta'ala. As Muslims, all boys and girls should realise that this type of disobedience towards parents has grave consequences for all concerned.

Muslim parents have an absolute right to stop their sons and daughters from dating. This is not a case of being 'old fashioned and backwards'. Dating is a kuffar concept and also part of shaitaan's design to mislead us off the straight path and into Jahannum. Muslim parents are obeying Allah Ta'ala's commands and are also observing their children's rights over them. Every child has the right to be protected from zinnah.

She is also destroying many of her rights as a Muslim woman. Who will be there to help her in her time of need when she has turned away from her parents and Allah Ta'ala?

Her impulsive attitude puts her at risk of being taken advantage of. How sure is she that this fellow will respect, treasure and honour her when he already knows that she is capable of defying her parents? He could easily string her along for as long as it suits him and take full advantage of her by making her believe he will marry her. Yet he may decide to obey his parent's wishes and marry someone more 'pure and modest'. He will believe that it is his right to do so. He will already know that your friend is a 'used item'. He could also be put off by the fact that if she could defy her parents, she may even defy him as a husband and refuse to be a good mother to his children and a good Muslim wife according to Sharia. So it means he may not trust her as he knows of her defiant attitude.

I am sure you realise the dangers of chatting with strangers on the internet. There have been reported cases of young girls and even women being kidnapped and raped after meeting men via the chat rooms. It is commendable that you are aware of the dangers your friend is in. Do try and convince her and other friends to abstain from chatting with strangers in this way. This is also a form of zinna as often the most coarse and disgusting language is used by immodest men and women in these chat rooms.

There is so much to learn and so much knowledge one needs to gain as a Muslim woman. A whole lifetime of learning is needed to discover the vast treasure of Islam and it's merits. Suggest to her that she should join you in discovering the role, rights and position of women in Islam. Discover what a high pedestal Allah Ta'ala has placed women on. She will discover what a great contribution she can make to the lives of countless people and how she can earn her place in Jannah, just by obeying Allah Ta'ala. This life on earth is but temporary. Your friend is a pricless diamond, created and loved by Allah Ta'ala. She should save herself for a man who will also love her as such. Allah Ta'ala will grant her honour when she performs nikah with a man. The opposite of that is disgrace in dating a guy. Allah Ta'ala will not turn away from her until she abandons HIM by her continued defiance against her parents and Allah Ta'ala Himself.

Your friend is an adult and has two choices. You can only try to show her concern and try to help her give up being a friend of shaitaan. Impress upon her that Allah Ta'ala is most merciful, most forgiving and that He loves her. Insha'allah, she will accept the help you offer her and choose to remain Allah Ta'ala's beloved. May Allah Ta'ala guide you and all young people to maintain their honour and to seek companionship and love of the opposite sex in nikah only. AMEEN.

And Allah Ta'ala knows best

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CHECKED AND APPROVED: Mufti Ebrahim Desai