Bad behaviour to parents and bad dua! Help!!!i lose my temper.... Is there a prayer that can be said that will make me a better child?

Question

Imam, I have a huge problem. I?m a 17 yr old teenager, and my problem is that my attitude towards my parents is not islamic. I argue with my parents and I lose my temper. I end up repenting, and saying sorry, but I?ve done this a lot of times and I?m sick of it. Is there a prayer that can be said that will make me a better child? (B) The other day my father got mad at me, and he asked Allah to send me to hell, he did this out of extreme anger and did not really mean it, what should be done so that this dua does not happen? I?m extremely worried because even though I?m not the best child at all times, I?ve had my share of nice deeds towards my parents and were it not for my temper and tongue we would always have a great relationship.

2SOCIAL DEPT · Accepted Answer

Parents are a blessing even if they are difficult. They are your tickets to Heaven literally both in this world and the next.

Firstly seek forgiveness from both parents sincerely. Ask them to forgive you for every hurt and pain caused to them. Ask them to make positive dua for you, for your character and for your future especially to change the dua from Hell to Paradise. Only dua can change taqdeer. Rememeber Our Creator Allah Ta'ala is Most Merciful continuous in Mercy, a Mercy that we cannot understand, neither possess but we need to make effort to gain the Mercy and Allah Ta'ala has given us hope in the Quraan - "Do not despair in the Mercy of Allah Ta'ala."

So your father's and mother's deep hearted duas for you will help. Furthermore it will need a deep hearted effort and need from within you to change. Remember place Allah Ta'ala in front of you. If you take one step towards Allah, HE will take ten towards you, making your path easy for you (something to the effect). The following should be attempted:

1. Smile at your parents even if it is difficult to do so. (Remember do it for Allah Ta'ala, HE will be pleased).
2. Wow ! Your parents too will get a shock.
3. Greet them and show them kindness morning and evening. Do them little extra favours. (Remember it's your duty and they don't have to appreciate it. So don't expect anything in return. Do this for Allah Ta'ala's pleasure only).
4. When you feel irritated consider how would you feel if your child screamed and showed anger to you. Warn yourself .
5. Remind yourself, anger is from Shaitaan. When you feel the heat of your anger developing, walk away, make wudhu, sit down, drink a glass of water thank Allah Ta'ala and if you are sitting lie down, sleep away think of Allah Ta'ala being happy at your efforts.
6. If issues need to be addressed, re-think on how to address them politely and lovingly. Don't expect them to agree, at least your message went through. Make dua and leave to Allah Ta'ala your isues. You will see how beautiful your outcomes will then be. Insha Allah. Sometimes one doesn't seee this immediately but after a whike this becomes evident.

NB Also note aggressive/ rebellious behaviour sometimes stems from issues not addressed , anger at some situation, or sometimes you need to deal with it in your life. Perhaps discuss or address this yourself or with some reliable person.

A good dua for beautiful character every time you look in the mirror read "Allahhumma anta hassanta Khalqi fa hassin Khuluqi.'

For anger read " Aoozu biltaahi minash shaitaa nir rajeem.'

Also for softness of characyter and removal of difficulties ' Yaa Arhamor raahimee' the amount according to every indiidual (1 time, or 3 times or 100 times)

Istigtaar repentance daily read Astagfirullah 100 times .

Ensure you pray your 5 daily salaah and recite some Quraan daily.

May Allah Ta'ala make your path easy.

and Allah Ta'ala Knows Best

2SOCIAL DEPT.

CHECKED & APPROVED: Mufti Ebrahim Desai

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