AskImamDarul Iftaa Mahmudiyyah (AskImam)

How do I respond to my brother`s bad behaviour towards me?

· 12 Dhuʻl-Hijjah 1434 AH2 min readFatwa 27222English
Psychological and Social

Question

I am a female doctor,I live with my younger brother & sister .My father live in another city.My mother died years ago.My younger brother used to beat me whenever he got angry on simple home disputes.He use abusive language.He used to say me you need a slap so that you may respect me.I told my father but he didnt do anything.I want to know now how i will adress this situitation according to shariat? I wanted to know my rights in Islam in this situation.

Answer

In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.

As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh.

Sister in Islam,

We realise your concern and distress. May Allah reward you for your patience and help your brother overcome the inner challenge he may be facing due to the demise of your mother and separation from your father. Ameen

We hope you understand your younger brother may be affected due to being separated from your parents. This sometimes has a very negative psychological and behavioural impact on certain individuals.

You are the most important and closest person to your brother since he has no other person to rely on. Also, it may be that he does not understand and realise his mistake and the consequence of his bad behaviour. He requires a motherly and fatherly figure to console him and talk to him with affection and due attention. You will be greatly awarded to show compassion to him and be a shoulder for him to pour his heart out to.

He may require some additional help to help him overcome his difficulty. You may seek some professional help for him or contact a local reliable scholar in your locality who he could confide in and overcome his weakness. It is important to identify the cause of his anger and help him overcome his weakness. If you desert him now, his condition could only deteriorate further.

Indeed, you as an elder sister, may try your utmost best to unite uterine relations and entertain hope of reward from Allah. Allah Ta`ala says:

Translation: Let them forgive and overlook, do you not wish that Allah should forgive you? And Allah is All-Forgiving All-Merciful[1].

Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) states:

Translation: Join ties with one who cuts you off, give to one who deprives you and forgive one who oppresses you[2].

Also, most important of all, invoke Allah and make Dua for your brothers guidance. Indeed, the Dua made at the last third of the night is accepted by Allah. Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said:

Verily, Allah descends to the nearest heaven in the last third of the night and proclaims: Who is supplicate me so that I may respond to him, who is asking from me so that I may grant him, who is asking for forgiveness from me so that I may forgive him[3].

Keep hope in Allah[4] and your efforts will be appreciated by Allah[5]. We hope and pray Allah helps you stay firm, assist him in overcoming his problems, and fosters a good relationship between the siblings. Ameen

And Allah Ta’āla Knows Best

Hanif Yusuf Patel

Student Darul Iftaa
UK

Checked and Approved by,
Mufti Ebrahim Desai.

www.daruliftaa.net

References (Arabic / Urdu sources)

وليعفوا وليصفحوا ألا تحبون أن يغفر الله لكم والله غفور رحيم

صل من قطعك وأعط من حرمك واعف عمن ظلمك

[1] [Al-Qur`an, 24: 22]

[2] [Musnad al-Imam Ahmad, 18032]

[3] عن أبي هريرة رضي الله عنه أن النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم قال : { ينزل ربنا تبارك وتعالى إلى السماء الدنيا حين يبقى ثلث الليل الآخر ، فيقول : من يدعوني فأستجيب له ، من يسألني فأعطيه ، من يستغفرني فأغفر له

[Saheeh al-Bukhari, 1094; Saheeh Muslim, 1525]

[4] ولا تايئسوا من روح الله ، إنه لا يايئس من روح الله إلا القوم الكفرون

[Al-Qur`an, 12-87]

[5] إنه من يتق ويصبر فان الله لايضيع أجر المحسنين

[Al-Qur`an, 12: 90]

Answered by
Hanif Yusuf Patel
Checked & approved by
Mufti Ebrahim Desai
Ask AskImam

Fatawa SA is an independent, read-only index of fatawa already published by Darul Iftaa Mahmudiyyah (AskImam). It is not a fatwa service. For your own situation, ask the issuing Darul Ifta directly.