my husband is a nice man, but i do not love him, is it permissiable to seek divorce?
Question
assalamu alaikum. I am extermely unhappy in my marriage. From the first day of our union, there were differnces. we tried everything for a peaceful or happy home. we dont have children and its been a year and a half of marriage. i knew my husband before marriage, and i feel misleadby him. His family do not want me and make thier dissaproval evident. He has been given a choice by his father to chose me or the family. In the light of recent events, i feel we have a very troubled marriage ahead. im also not sexually satisfied. I did the istakhara, and i dreamt my brother helping me out for a divorce, and on another occassion, my husband and i are arguing, leading to a divorce. Please help me i am not sure what i should do. JazakhAllahu khairun
Answer
Rasulullah (Sallallaahu Álayhi Wasallam) said, 'The most detestable among the permissible things in the sight of Allah is divorce.' If there is a dispute between husband and wife, they should first try to resolve it between themselves, failing which, Allah says, 'Two persons representing the husband and wife respectively should arbitrate and amicably resolve the dispute.'
As far as possible, a divorce should be avoided. However, after exhausting all avenues of reconciliation, as a last resort, Allah says, 'Keep with principle or release with principle'. If the husband and wife cannot fulfill their respective duties to one another, then instead of committing a sin of violating one another's rights, they should separate. The husband should release his wife with principle by giving her divorce. In such a situation, if a wife seeks for a divorce, she will not be sinful. If the husband refuses to divorce her, she may make Khula, i.e. offer to repay her dowry to him in lieu of him granting her the divorce. If the husband is still spiteful and withholds the divorce, the woman may contact the Úlamaa (scholars) of her locality who are well versed with judiciary principles of Islam requesting them to annul the marriage.
and Allah Ta'ala Knows Best
Mufti Ebrahim Desai
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