I am a young woman frequently overwhelmed by sexual desires. I try fasting, but it doesn't seem to help. At times I even resort to masturbation. Unfortunately I don't know any Muslim men to marry.

Question

I am a young American woman, a recent convert, a university student in a city with very few Muslims. Frequently I have extremely vivid sexual dreams about young men. When I wake up in the morning I feel terribly guilty, almost as if I have actually committed zina, and vow to purge my mind of this, but it comes back over and over again. Sometimes it only takes a single glimpse of an attractive young man, not even a second look, to start up these thoughts again. And then when I sin by masturbating, I curse myself as being no better than a zania (whore). I know I mustn't despair, but it is very difficult. I was brought up with all the "benefits" of a so-called "sexually liberated" culture, such as sex education, explicit entertainment, and the like, which only exacerbates my situation. I feel enslaved by my sexual desires, not liberated by them. I want to repent, insha'Allah, but I feel helpless.

Mufti Ebrahim Desai · Accepted Answer

The biological change in a human being that demands fulfilment of ones carnal desires is natural. It cannot be eliminated without fulfilling it. It can only be suppressed to a certain level. We agree with you that a sexually liberated culture enslaves a person and exacerbates an already provoked situation. Your acknowledgement of that coupled with the guilt of evil thoughts is a positive sign. Sister, all you can do is to develop the courage and exercise patience and restraint until Allah opens the way for you. Your desperation should not drive you to make any hasty decisions as that may be detrimental to you, creating a worse situation. Recite 500 times daily Durood and salaams to our prophet. That is effective in getting a compatible marriage partner. We advise the following to assist you to suppress your desires, surely we cannot eliminate them.
Never stay idle as that is the devils workshop. The moment you have an evil thought, change it and engage in something permissible that interests you. Never let an evil thought catch root, as withdrawing from an evil but enjoyable frame of mind is difficult.
Set a standard time and routine for Zikr two times a day. In any portion of the morning recite. 100 times the first Kalima
100 times Istighfaar
100 times the third Kalima
Read them with concentration and pondering, upon the meanings. The same should be done any time during the later afternoon or evening.
Obtain authentic books on spirituality especially on death. Read them until you maintain balance. You may contact us again there after for another prescription.
We are hopeful if you follow the above you will experience a difference. Inshallah.

and Allah Ta'ala Knows Best

Mufti Ebrahim Desai
FATWA DEPT.

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