What are your obligations to your stepparents?

Before we take a look at the obligations, rights and respect which one owes to one's stepmother or stepparents, let us first take a look at our rights and obligations we owe towards our parents. Allah Ta'ala mentions in the noble Qur'aan, 'Allah has ordained you that you worship none other besides Allah and be good to your parents.'

In this Aayat, we see that immediately after Allah ordered us not to ascribe any partners with Allah, which is the most fundamental aspect of faith, Allah orders us to be good, respect and honour one's parents. In one Hadith, Nabi (Sallallaahu Alayhi Wasallam) mentioned that, 'Should I not inform you of such sins which is from amongst the major sins' The Sahaaba (Radhiallaahu Anhum) answered, 'Most definitely, O` prophet of Allah'. Nabi (Sallallaahu Alayhi Wasallam) then said, 'To ascribe partners with Allah and to disobey one's parents.'

Reverting to the question regarding stepparents and, in your case, a step mother: We are all aware of the rights we owe to our mother. The Qur'aan and Hadith are replete with warnings of disobedience towards parents. It is understood that a step mother can never take the place of a mother, but the mere fact that she is the wife of your father, equal amount of respect and honour should be shown to her as shown to one's own mother. Under no circumstance should she be disrespected because this will cause hurt to your father.

In today's society, the concept of 'stepparents' has been contaminated. Just because she is one's stepmother, she is regarded to be someone disliked and somebody who is difficult to associate with. We should change this concept and adopt love and affection in one's heart for our stepparents and give her due amount of respect. Allah will then create that special maternal love between the children and stepmother. The only time when one may disobey one' s stepparents is when they order one to do something contrary to Shari'ah.

and Allah Ta'ala Knows Best

Mufti Ebrahim Desai