How can remedy the following problems: I frequently feel tired lacking in energy , I repeat actions several times eg I will check the same light is switched off 3 times, I keep washing my hands...
Question
How can remedy the following problems: I frequently feel tired lacking in energy , I repeat actions several times eg before sleeping I will check the same light is switched off 3 times, I keep washing my hands, I am repetitive in washing so that a shower takes me 20 mins when others do it in 5 mins. I am quite slow in general actions eg performing wudu takes at least 4 mins when rushing, but typically takes 5 mins. I find all this quite frustrating and sometimes feel unhappy when I think of the time I waste eg when I decide to go to bed I repeatedly check all the doors are locked, windows are shut, cooker and lights are off, but this usually takes 45 mins so I go to sleep too late and feel I do not get enough sleep. I find that there is not enough time in the day. Furthermore I work in a Consultancy firm and my work involves a lot of numerical work, I find I repeatedly check my work and so take longer to do my work. This is a problem as my work is charged to clients on an hourly basis and thus what I achieve in what time is sometimes scrutinised. Also during prayer uncertainty as whether I have prayed correctly appears in my mind and I feel the urge to repeat my prayers or feel unsure whether to repeat my prayers and if I do, I get frustrated. I am nearly 23 years old and feel I should be more energetic and less repetitive.
Answer
Alhumdulliah we highly commend you on taking the step to seek help and address your concerns. Masa Allah!
In order to devise a meanigful strategy to deal with your problems it would help if you would work through the following and respond via e-mail. You will also find a strategy of coping skills through one of your concerns. Work through this, respond to us on your trail and outcome. Do not despair; your efforts alone will be commendable and a step forward.
Firsty work through a self assessment and self awareness excercise. Jot down all your positive strong points. What you enjoy and what you are good at. Secondly make a note of your health. Are you eating good healthy diet. This feeling of tiredness is it a regular issue are you aneamic? Is it related to your hormonal changes? Are you in need of Cal/Mag or other vitamins check with your doctor. Assess your health situation. Some quick fixes for energy eg have a banana in the morning it ia a good mood lifter. Honey and cinaman in boiling water in the morning- acttivates energy levels.
Thirdly brainstorm your fears list them in sequence rating 0 - 100. 0 signifies totally relaxed and 100 as tense as ever eg fear of people, parent, phobias etc. Also can you identify your behavioural patterns associated to any particular incidents. eg Time taken to check locks and windows - linked to some fear or TV incident, or washing of hands, bath feeling dirty, vile, associated with an incident or is it a phobia? Even need to repeatedly check your work . Have you been subjected to excessive criticism? When did this begin study this.
Suggested programme for coping skills thouroughly before working through the next step on coping with wudhu. Prepare your mind and body. Practice some breathing excercises. Take a deep breath in and release slowly, before commencing. Remember to read Taawuz seking protection in Allah Ta'ala from the Shaitaan and whispering of Shaitaan. Start all actions taking the name of Allah Ta'ala. Do some body deep muscle relaxation excercises tense all major muscle groups and relax including head and shoulders. Should at any time any tension be experienced in your activity bolt it out ...relax...breathe in start again. Deal with it. No negtaive thoughts, think positively don't stop don't thimg back follow the next chain link, move forward. Don't worry, worry won't help. Do the one step, carry on -you can do it. Don't think about fear, just about what have to do. Don't check again. Relax, your'e in control. Take a slow deep breath, Ah, good. When fear comes, just pause, close eyes, take the name of Allah Ta'ala ask Allah Ta'ala for help. Focus on present what do you have to do. Don't try to eliminate it just manage through it, it worked Masha Allah. You did it it gets better each time Insha Allah.
Programme 1 Wudhu read through coping skills.
a) Read Tawawuz seeking protection from Shaitaan.
b) Read Tasmiya. Bismillah.
c) Before wudhu check for tippex, flour, wax, glue or impurities on skin if applicable remove.
d) Now remember your body is clean therefore you do not have to scrub. Wash as per Sunnat method taught by our Beloved Prophet (Sallallahu alayhi Wasallam) not more than that, eg 3 times does not mean 4 or 5 but 3, 4 of 5 is incorrect.
e) Important follow through each sequence quickly ensuring not to stop to think or ponder. Rather read Kalima shahaadat or Masnoon wudhu duas. f) Ensure that you perform wudhu in quick succession that the previous parts washed do not dry off before completion.
g) Should you have doubts after wudhu whether your wudhu is accepted or you have washed all parts or its broken. Ignore this. TAKE NO NOTICE THE WUDHU IS VALID.
h) If you are after completion very ceratin that you missed a ceratin part then only wash that part your wudhu is accepted.
i) It you are sure about wind then the wudhu is valid unless you heard a sound or smelt a smell of your passing wind.
Well done! Masha Allah! You can do it. Try it a few times (Don't) time yourself). Inform us of your progress. Insha Allah we will follow through thereafter with the other concerns. Your feed back is essential.
Salaams and Du'aas.
2Social and Welfare
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